It's not often I do a particularly personal journal on dA. I am not a blogger and don't post on forums in any real way anymore - so other then facebook I guess this is where I um, 'blog'.

The point of this? Hm, more then a musing, more of a... pondering and worrying I suppose. I am not very good at handling stress, the little things cause psychosomatic symptoms and I generally get quite ill when things pile up. To this end I am making a detirmined attempt to not sweat the small stuff, because so much big stuff goes on I simply can't waste my time dealing with hang ups. I am contemplating going to see a councillor on campus, to talk about the more serious things, the people who effect me and the things I am yet to fully resolve within myself. Those who know me might be surprised to discover that I have never seen any kind of therapist as a teen or adult. I spoke to a child psychologist when I was young (about 7) but remember little of it.

In order to deal properly with the big things I need and have needed to cut out the small crap. Facing the possibility of another serious mental health issue with a sibling has me worried, depressed and quite sad really. I think what hurts the most is her age, and the more time goes on the more I see her life being restricted, and the more sorrow I feel for her.

I know there are some folks out there in the land of teh internet who are either angry or disappointed with me, and maybe - possibly this journal goes some way to explaining why things happened the way they did.

Anyway, time to leave my head now. Its not like anybody reads this shit anyhoo, it just felt good to vent. *earmarks this for deletion*